Confidence, everyone wants it, not everyone has it. Wouldn’t it be great if there was a magic wand that could give you amazing self-confidence. Well, unfortunately there isn’t, like learning to walk and talk, confidence is a skill and takes work. Like any skill, if you don’t practice you will become rusty.
A failed relationship, a rejection at a job interview, a personal tragedy can all cause our self-confidence to suffer. Repeatedly failing to meet our own expectations that can causes you confidence to reduce you to a shadow of your former self.
Aside from all the external knocks that we take, we have to deal with our inner voice of self-doubt that continues to tell us that we are worthless. With all these factors against us, we need to take the time to develop our forcefield.
Here are 7 things you can do to build up your self-confidence:
1.Who do you want to be. Would you like to be able to walk into a room full of strangers with your head held high and ready to converse (ok maybe a bit weird but you get the idea). Perhaps you would like to be able to deliver a keynote speech to a room of your peers and enjoy the experience. Take the time to discover who you want to be and this will help towards your journey to becoming the person that you know you can.
2. Avoid negative people. Negative people are social blackholes and ready to suck the life out of you. They initially appear friendly, they begin with surface level comments about the weather “oh, it’s a bit miserable today”. You agree and that’s their hook, they have you. You have now been dragged into the abyss of negativity.
Avoid these people, their sole purpose is to drag you down into their world of misery.
3. Get out of your comfort zone. Guess what, what you have been doing so far hasn’t been working. Chances are that if you are reading this, you have gotten a rut and that will mean you are staying well within your comfort zone. Force yourself to do things that scare you, this doesn’t have to be anything as severe as standing on the ledge of a tall building. Simplicity is key, make conversation with a stranger in a non-stalkerish way.
We often shirk out of situations where the outcome will be unknown. Making an effort to enter into these transactions will very quickly begin to improve your confidence.
4. Life’s not fair. Accept that bad things are going to happen in life. You can either beat yourself up about it or get perspective and deal with it.
It is often those that strive for perfection who end up the most disappointed. Life’s not perfect and at times can be real shitty, learn to take things in your stride and tell yourself that you are prepared to deal with what life throws at you.
5. Reach for low hanging fruit. If our confidence is at rock bottom, chances are we have taken one too many knocks and need some easy wins to get us back on the road to recovery. You may have extremely high expectations of yourself, but in the current climate, it is beginning to become a burden. Get back on the road to recovery by setting some easy, attainable goals.
These easy wins will soon add up and allow you to raise your head from the parapet. As your confidence grows you will be able to increase the size of the goals.
Remember to celebrate your minor successes as this will remind you that you are the path to winning.
6. Do things for others. When we help someone else we gain a sense of achievement that we have been able to make a difference. Teaching others a new skill or helping them to overcome their own problems leads to a sense of accomplishment and in turn improves your own confidence.
7. Healthy body, healthy mind. It is hard to feel self-confident if you feel crap about the way you look. In fact, the way we look is often a major contributor to our overall confidence. If we feel that we look good, then there is a good chance that someone else will too.
Regular exercise is great for giving us ownership over our own body as we are able to sculpt the way that we want to look. Aside from the aesthetics, exercise is great for our health as it releases endorphins that help us to feel that bit happier.